The Dragon of the West
by winnieeo
Summary: The story of Uncle's path to enlightenment. Travel with Uncle as he learns to find peace within himself after the death of his only son - Lu Ten. Inspired by one of my best friends - mren - who suggested that I write Uncle's story. Features selected members from the Order of the White Lotus and Zuko in later chapters. Rated T for some violence.
1. The Siege of Ba Sing Se

I sit at my desk alone in my tent as I look down at a picture of my son - Lu Ten. It's been six-hundred days since the siege of Ba Sing Se had begun and my men are beginning to tire out from the battle. However, we have made good progress. The outer wall has fallen and we are closing in on the lower ring of the fortified Earth Kingdom capital.

All my life I've dreamed of this day - the day when the most important city in the Earth Kingdom will fall and the Fire Nation will successfully control_ the world_. Well, most of it at least. There is still that Northern Water Tribe to take care of. Though, I'm sure if we can take down Ba Sing Se, we can melt that pathetic tribe right off the map.

"General Iroh," Commander Wong says as he enters the tent. "We're all ready to go."

"Okay," I reply. I put down the photo of Lu Ten and pick up my sword instead.

I step outside to where the entire Fire Nation Army is waiting for my command to storm the lower ring of the city. I look over at my son who will be leading the firebenders on the front line. I've never been more proud of him before. Today, with my beloved son and best friend by my side, I will bring home to my father the one gift that I'm sure will make _him_ proud of _me_ - the Earth King's throne.

"Today, the glory of the Fire Nation will be known to all who live in the Earth Kingdom. Today, Ba Sing Se will fall!" I say to my men as I give the signal to move forward into the city.

Cannons sound and the inner wall begins to crumble. Earthbenders quickly deflect our attacks and haul stones at our tanks. We fight back with fire hot enough to melt their stones.

"Excellent job, men!" I say as we move in towards the wall. The fighting intensifies as we continue to push forward. We make good progress and the fighting continues on throughout the day. The sun begins to set and I alternate our front line so that those who have been fighting all day can get some rest.

We are so close that I _will not_ relent until this city goes down in _flames_.

The firebenders from the front line begin to return as we gather around the campfire for dinner.

"Where is Lu Ten?" I ask Commander Wong when I see him return.

"He was right behind me, sir," he replies as he bows to greet me. "Should be here any minute."

"Okay," I reply as I assemble two plates of food, one for me and one for Lu Ten.

I sit at the head of the table and wait for my son to return before I start eating. But, he doesn't. Seconds turn into minutes but he never shows up.

"Commander, I thought you said Lu Ten was right behind you?" I ask after waiting nearly an entire hour for Lu Ten to return.

"He _was_," he replies. "I'll go-"

"General Iroh!" Sergeant Chan calls out to me as he runs up the hill. "General Iroh, your son... Lu Ten..."

"What is it?! Is Lu Ten alright?" I ask, fearing for the worse. I feel my heart start to beat intensely as I imagine what might have happened to my son. I watch as two guards carry Lu Ten up the hill behind the sergeant. "Lu Ten!" I call out to him as I run towards them.

He looks badly hurt. They take him into the medical-tent. I follow them inside and rush to my son's side.

"Son, are you alright?"

"Father," he says, struggling to speak.

"Son, please don't speak if it hurts too much. Save your energy, the doctor will be here any minute," I say as I try to calm him down. I can see that he has taken quite a blow to the chest.

"Father, please..." he continues.

"What is it son?" I ask as I take his hand. He's trembling now, which can't be a good sign. I lean forward to hear what he is trying to say.

"Please, stop this war," he whispers. He grasps my hand tightly.

"Son, don't worry about the war. Please, just save your energy," I tell him as the doctor enters the tent to examine his wounds.

"It looks bad, General," the doctor says.

"Okay, then do something about it!" I say as I feel Lu Ten's grip begin to weaken. I grasp his hand tighter.

"I'm sorry, General Iroh. The damage is too severe," he states.

"Do _something_!" I scream. Tears begin to flow down my face. I don't care what this doctor has to do, he can't just let my son die!

"There is nothing I can do," he continues calmly. "I'm sorry."

I look down at Lu Ten who is now completely still. His face as peaceful as the sunset on a clear day. I hold on to his hand as I feel myself begin collapse inside. Lu Ten, my only son and my _best friend_, is gone.

No, it can't be true! I won't allow it.

"Lu Ten, please. _Please_, wake up," I call to him.

No response.

"Please, son. I'm sorry," I say as I sit down beside him. "I'm _so_ sorry."

I press my ear against his chest to check for his heartbeat but there is no sound. I press it harder.

"Lu Ten?"

Silence.

I sit there for who knows how long and stare at his motionless body in front of me.

I begin to cry as I think about the last conversation we had. Why did I have to argue with him yesterday? Why didn't I just let him say what he wanted to and actually listen to him for once? Why didn't I listen to him!?

_If I were the Fire Lord, we wouldn't even have this war._

His words resonate in my heart as I continue to stare at my son's _body_. I can't believe I wasted the last thirty-minutes that I would ever have with my son arguing about the war! And yet, being the loyal son that he was, he still faithfully led the firebenders on the front line today.

"Lu Ten," I say to him, "I love you and I'm _so_ proud of you, son. In all my life, and out of all the achievements and medals I've earned, _you _have been my greatest reward," I tell him though I know he can't hear me anymore. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry that I lead you into a battle that you disagreed with. I'm sorry that I put you in charge of the front line where I knew the battle is the most intense. I'm sorry, Lu Ten. I'm _so_ sor-"

"General," Commander Wong interrupts as he enters the tent. "The inner wall has fallen and we are ready to storm the lower ring."

"Call it off!" I scream.

"General, we've been fighting for the past six-hundred days for this moment. Are you su-"

"Are you deaf?! I said call it off!" I yell at him. I don't care if we've been fighting for six-hundred years! "Call it off!" I repeat myself as I firebend at him. The tent catches fire and Commander Wong runs outside to call off the attack. I pick up Lu Ten's body and step outside so that he doesn't get burned by the flames.

I place him gently on the ground, sit down next to him, and continue to apologize for being such a horrible father and leader.

Lu Ten, my only son and heir to the throne, is dead.


	2. Tai Yuan

"What happened in Ba Sing Se, Prince Iroh?" Father asks as I sit before the Tactical Review Board in the War Room.

We've just returned from a long trip back from Ba Sing Se and it's late so I would really prefer not to talk about it right now. But I guess I have no choice. The board is demanding answers so I should probably just tell them what they want to hear. Then, maybe they'll let me go lay down for a while.

"I withdrew our men because the troops were tired out after a long battle, Father."

"That's a lie!" Commander Wong objects. "Tell everyone what _really_ happened."

"Like I said, the troops were tired after six-hundred days of fighting," I repeat.

"No. You called off the attack! You abandoned the mission at a critical point in the battle when we could have taken the _entire_ city and the Earth Kingdom with it!"

"Son, is this true?" Father asks.

"The General is entitled to his opinion."

"That's not what I asked. Is it true that you called off the attack when the city was about to fall?" he clarifies as if I did not understand him the first time.

"It is," I reply, hoping that if I just tell him the truth he'll let me out of this hellish room so that I can go and lay down already.

I stare blankly into the flames at the front of the room as the members of the board stare at me in shock.

The room is silent.

"Please, leave us to talk alone," Father says after some time.

Promptly, they all get up and file out of the room. Some shake their heads in disappointment as they walk past me but I don't care. I don't care about _anything_ anymore. I don't even care if my Father decides to just kill me right now. In fact, I think it would be kind of nice if he would just put me out of my misery.

"Your brother has suggested that, considering your recent erratic behavior and sudden lack of an heir, I should make _him_ the Crown Prince instead," he says after everyone has left the room.

"Okay."

"Iroh, do you not care that your brother is suggesting that I give him your birthright?"

Funny thing, I don't. "I'm sure you will do whatever is best for our nation, Father."

"You and I both know your brother isn't nearly as qualified as you are. But he is cunning and ruthless - traits that would make him a good Fire Lord."

"You're right," I agree mostly because I _really_ don't care.

"Then you agree?"

"Father, I'm sure Ozai would do a fine job."

"Right. Thank you Son," he replies. "You're dismissed."

_Finally_.

I walk out of the War Room and down the hall to my private quarters. I lay down on my bed to get some rest but am suddenly not tired anymore. I get up and stare at the two photos on my desk instead. One is of my wife, Tai Yuan, and the other of my son, Lu Ten.

Photos are all that are left of them.

"Tai Yuan," I say to her photo, "You've finally met our son Lu Ten. He's amazing, isn't he? I'm so proud of him and am sure that you would have been as well. But I know that none of that matters any more. You're both gone and I am left to suffer here alone. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made in my life. I'm sorry for perpetuating this war that neither of you believed in. I'm sorry for always putting my work before my family. And now, you are both gone. I suppose that's the consequence I deserve for all the pain, suffering, and death that I have caused to other families for the 'glory of the Fire Nation.' But have my actions truly brought glory to our nation? Have my actions truly led to anything other than death, destruction, and suffering?"

I pick up her photo as I think about the day we met in the royal garden so many years ago. Piandao, Jeong Jeong, and I were training together that morning and I, in an attempt to show off my bending, had accidentally burned the side of her dress as she and a few others watched from the gazebo. I felt so horrible that I insisted on buying her a new dress. And I'm glad she let me. Otherwise, we would have never went on our first date.

I think about my friends Piandao and Jeong Jeong who have both deserted their positions in the Fire Nation Army and Navy respectively. Why did they leave? What drove them to it? Was it that they could no longer stand the consequences of _their_ actions?

Perhaps they, like me, have suffered enough here to-

"Crown Prince Iroh?" a woman's voice interrupts my thoughts.

I look up and see that it is my brother's wife, Ursa. "Yes, Ursa?" I reply. "Is something wrong?"

"Iroh, your Father Azulon has made a deal with your brother Ozai..." she starts but then begins to weep. I wait for her to continue. She shouldn't be in here at this hour so it would be really nice if she would just get to the point.

"What is it, Ursa?" I ask impatiently.

"Zuko..." she continues. Zuko? What does my father's deal with my brother have anything to do with my nephew Zuko?

"Is something the matter with Zuko?"

"Your father insists that Ozai should experience the pain of losing a son. He says that only then could he be the Fire Lord. Iroh, I don't know who else to turn to. _Please_ help me. Ozai is planning to go through with it," she begs.

"And what do you expect me to do?"

She silent for a while. "I don't know Iroh, but we have to do _something_." By her tone of voice and the fear in her eyes, I'm guessing she's implying that we...

She _can't_ be serious.

"And what do you expect that I do? Kill my own father?"

She's silent.

"I'm sorry Ursa, there's nothing I can do to help you. You should go."

"Please, Iroh. My son..." she continues to plead.

"I said, you should go," I repeat firmly.

Finally, she leaves.

That woman is ridiculous! I can't believe she wants to get me involved with the matters of my brother and his family. I look at the picture of _my _son. What would I do if Father had told me to kill Lu Ten? I would _never_ do anything to harm my own child. And I can't believe Ozai would even consider it. How could my brother actually agree to do something _so_ horrific to his own son!?

I sit back down at my desk and pick up the picture of Tai Yuan again.

Where was I?

Oh right, I was apologizing for being such a horrible husband.

"Tai Yuan, I'm so sorry..." I begin but am not quite in the mood to continue the pity party I was throwing myself.

What would Tai Yuan do if Ursa had gone to _her_ for help? Well, she certainly wouldn't kill my Father. But then she also wouldn't just completely ignore Ursa. Sigh, maybe I should try to reason with Father. It's not like I care to be the Fire Lord anyways.

I get up and walk over to my brother's quarters to see if I can find Ursa.

"Ma'am," I say as I pass her servant on my way to her room. "Have you seen Lady Ursa?"

"She and Prince Ozai have gone to see the Fire Lord, sir."

"Oh, okay. Thank you," I say and then head towards my Father's room instead.

I hide in the shadows as I see my brother come out of Father's room. Minutes later, the royal scribe follows. I slip into the room and find Ursa standing above Father as he sleeps soundly in his bed.

"Ursa, what are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I _have _to do," she says as she plunges a dagger into my Father's heart.

Shocked, I stare at her with eyes as wide as a turtle-sloth's.

"Ursa..."

"Iroh," she says, tears streaming down her face. She is trembling now. "I think you out of all people understand that I did what I _had_ to do to save my son."

"There could have been another way!"

"What's done is done." I look down at my Father and watch as the blood pours out of his wound. "Please, promise me you won't let your brother hurt Zuko," she pleads.

"Ursa, what are you saying?"

"I can't be here to protect him any longer and Ozai is _ruthless_. Please, you have to promise me," she begs. "Don't let him hurt my son."

"I'll do what I can," I reply. I look at her and then back down at my father. Silence fills the room as I watch his breathing slow and then come to a stop.

"I'm ready," she says after a while.

"Ready?" I don't understand what she's talking about.

"The guards. Aren't you going to tell the guards to come arrest me?" I stare at her for a while and pause. Is she serious?

She nods as if reading my thoughts.

"Treason!" I scream for the guards. The guards come and take her away.

I stay by my father's side until the doctor comes. He checks Father for a heartbeat and then looks up at me, fear burning in his eyes.

"Go on," I say calmly.

He shakes his head.

Of course. What did I expect? A dagger to the heart would kill anyone, even Father. Three times now, and twice in the past few days, I've watched the life slip out of someone I loved. I turn and step out of the room.

For hours, I wander the halls of the palace thinking about my father, my son, and the desperation in Ursa's eyes as she plunged the dagger into Father's heart. Why didn't I do something earlier?! Why didn't I stop the siege on Ba Sing Se? Why didn't I help Ursa before it was too late?

I don't know.

Clearly, I didn't expect that my son would be killed and I guess I didn't think that Ursa was capable of doing something so horrific. Ursa, the grand-daughter of Roku, my grandfather's best friend and the Avatar. Could her love for her son really drive her to _murder_ my Father in cold blood?

Would _I_ murder my Father if it would bring Lu Ten back?

Maybe I would.

Muddled thoughts of life, death, my father, my son, my wife, and my ancestors fill my mind. It's strange to think that my grandfather, Sozin, the man who started this whole war was best friends with the Avatar. Could it be that there was a time when there was no war? When the Fire Nation was 'good?" Tai Yuan certainly thought so.

It's funny to think that I, the _former_ Crown Prince of the Fire Nation and Commander of the Army, had married someone as idealistic as Tai Yuan. Perhaps there was something about her innocence, her belief in the good in people, that drew me to her. Perhaps I thought that if I married someone as beautiful and loving as she was that I could somehow balance out the evil that was inside of me.

Like Ying and Yang I suppose.

I return to my quarters and lay in bed and stare blankly at the ceiling. All my life I've waited for the day that my Father would die and that I would become the Fire Lord. And now that he's dead and I'm _not_ going to be the Fire Lord, I think that I should at least be angry or something but I don't care. In fact, I don't even care that I just watched my sister-in-law kill my Father.

I try to force myself to feel _something_ about it all but there is nothing inside of me.

I am empty.

I have nothing left and I _am_ nothing.

Perhaps this is the consequence of my actions or inaction. Perhaps everything that's happened to me - Tai Yuan and Lu Ten's deaths, my failure in Ba Sing Se, the death of my father, the loss of the throne - are the consequences of the evil that I've chosen to partake in my entire life. Perhaps, it was my choices and my actions that have led to the death and destruction of _everything_ that I've ever cared about.

Why did I not value my family when they were still alive? Why did I not listen to Lu Ten when he begged me not to continue this war? Why did I not do something to help Ursa before she killed my Father?

I don't know.

But if my suffering is a consequence of the evil that I've done then perhaps something other than suffering could be obtained by choosing to do 'good?' Is it even possible for someone at my age, after all these years of being 'evil,' to be _good_?

Again, I don't know.

It seems like I don't know, have, or want anything anymore.

I'm nothing but a hallow shell of a human being who has successfully lost everything that could possibly matter.

I am _nothing_.

I am _no one_.

I am Iroh. Not Crown Prince Iroh. Not Fire Lord Iroh. Just, simply, Iroh.

_Iroh_.


	3. Lu Ten

"General Iroh," Sergeant Zhu's voice wakes me from my sleep.

I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling. The room is dark and cool and my bed is as soft as ever. I think I might just sleep for a bit longer. I curl up under my covers and close my eyes again. Maybe he'll go away if I just ignore him.

"General Iroh," he says again.

I don't understand why he won't just leave me alone. "What is it?" I ask. "What do you want from me in the middle of the night?!"

"Sir, it's late afternoon. You've slept through the entire day."

"Oh. That's nice," I say although I really don't care.

"Sir, Fire Lord Ozai is here to see you," he continues.

_Fire Lord_ Ozai? Since when did my brother become the Fire Lord? I thought his coronation was... oh, it must have been today.

"Okay." I force myself to get out of my bed. I suppose I can't just ignore the new Fire Lord when he comes to see me.

"Brother, where have you been?" Ozai asks as he enters my room.

"Sleeping I guess."

"You missed my coronation." He seems a bit upset about it but what does he care?!

"I suppose I did. My apologies Fire Lord."

"Brother, you know that you don't have to call me that," he says warmly.

"Ozai, why are you pretending to be nice to me after what you did? Do you think that I don't know about the secret deal you had with your wife? Or that I don't know about how you were willing to kill your own son just to be Fire Lord? And you expect that I would still want to call you 'brother' after all of that?" I say angrily. "I don't know why you are even here."

"Iroh, you don't understand."

"I think I damn well understand what I _saw_ with my own eyes."

"Brother, is it not true that it is only logical for me to be Fire Lord considering you have no heir?! It's not like I didn't encourage you so many times to get remarried and have more children. We both know it's not safe out there and that sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the good of our nation!"

"You know I couldn't find another woman as good as Tai Yuan!"

"You are too attached to things."

"No. You are not attached enough! A man who would kill his own son for the throne knows nothing of love and family."

"You shouldn't speak of things that _you_ know nothing about!" he yells. His yelling startles me. Ozai is not one to easily lose his temper. What could possibly make him so angry as to yell at me after everything he's done. Could it be that _I_ am the one who has done something wrong here? Although I certainly am not the one who planned to murder my own father, kill my own son, or banish my own wife.

"Ozai, what are you talking about?" I ask calmly.

He doesn't respond. Instead, he sits down on my bed. I look over at him as I sit down next to him and for the first time ever he looks _ashamed_.

"Brother, what are you talking about?" I ask again.

He looks down at his palms where two small flames burn. "Iroh," he starts but then pauses. The flames in his hands are so hot that I can feel them heat the entire room. "He's not my son."

"What are you talking about Zuko's not your son. Of course he is." I'm starting to think that my brother may be a bit delusional.

"No. He is not," he replies firmly.

"Well, if he's not your son then whose son is he?!"

"Ikem."

"Who is Ikem?! Are you trying to say that Ursa..." It doesn't make any sense. I can't imagine that Ursa would ever be unfaithful.

"No. It was before we were married," he says. "You say that you would never marry again because you'll never find anyone as amazing as Tai Yuan. Well, I've never had a wife who actually even remotely loved me. All this time, and despite everything we've been through, her heart is not and will never be mine."

"Brother, I'm sure that's not true."

"No, Iroh. It is. I know for a fact that it is true. And that's why I let her go through with her ridiculous plan. And that is also why I banished her. At least this way I don't have to look at her face everyday knowing that she is dreaming about some other man!"

I'm silent. I never would have imagined that Ursa did not love my brother. I always thought that they were happily married.

"I'm sorry," I say after a while.

"It doesn't matter, she's gone."

"So, what are you going to do now then?"

"I'm going to finish this war that grandfather started. I'm going to share the glory of our nation with the world so they will truly know who is supreme."

"I meant, what are you going to do about Zuko?" I clarify.

"Nothing."

Well at least he's not going to harm the kid.

"Okay," I reply.

"So, brother, will you help me as you've helped Father lead the charge in our fight?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? I thought that this is what you would have wanted, to finish what you started. I know that what happened to Lu Ten is hard for you to accept but you can't just give up on life just because you've lost your son."

"It is what I _would_ have wanted but now I'm not sure what I want."

"What are you talking about? Have you gone crazy? Do you no longer believe in what you've fought for your entire life?!" he asks.

"I don't know, brother. I don't know what I believe in anymore."

He looks at me intently and shakes his head. "Perhaps you need some time to think things through," he replies then gets up and leaves.

I guess he doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

I lay back down in my bed and try to sleep again but I've slept for so long that I can't seem to sleep anymore so I get up and go over to Lu Ten's room instead._  
_

Maybe I should start organizing his things, packing them away perhaps.

I start at his bookcase which is filled with books on history, philosophy, science, tactical strategy, firebending, and qi-gong. In front of his books is a photo of us on a family vacation at Ember Island. We are both in our swim gear and he is holding up a three-foot long sea-trout. That was the first fish he's ever caught. I think back about all the good times we've spent on Piandao's sailboat with Jeong Jeong and his family.

Those days are long gone now.

Piandao, Jeong Jeong, Jeong Jeong's family, and Lu Ten are all long gone now. And there is only me, my brother, and his messed up family.

I stare at the photo and begin to cry as I think back about the last conversation I had with Lu Ten.

* * *

_"Father, we're all ready for tomorrow," Lu Ten says as he enters the tent._

_"Great, thank you son."_

_"Father..." he begins but then hesitates._

_"What is it?"_

_"Father, why are we fighting this war?"_

_"Well, for the glory of the Fire Nation of course," I reply._

_"Do you really think that killing and pillaging innocent people really brings glory to our nation?"_

_"Son, they are not 'innocent people' as you describe them. They are non-firebenders."_

_"Okay, well Piandao is not a firebender."_

_"I mean, they are not Fire Nation citizens. You know darn well that even though Piandao is not a firebender he is the best swordsman there is!" __I don't understand why we are having this conversation and why he is trying to drag my friends into it._

_"But is it not true that other benders have skills as well?"_

_"Yes, but they are inferior skills. I mean just look at the Air Nomads, they were so easy to wipe out that there's no way that you could really believe that airbending is equal to firebending."_

_"But the Air Nomads were monks, Father. They were wiped out not because their bending was inferior but because it is in their culture to be peaceful and kind."_

_"Son, they were wiped out because their culture and their beliefs were not strong enough to withstand those of the Fire Nation."_

_"And what about the Earth Kingdom?" he asks. "Ba Sing Se has stood for centuries. I'm sure that they are strong."_

_"Just because it stood for centuries it does not mean that they will not fall. Son, everything falls to flames," I explain. "If you are going to be Fire Lord one day, you'll have to understand that."_

_"If I were Fire Lord, I wouldn't have this war."_

_"What are you trying to say? Are you disobeying your own father?"_

_"Father, of course I am not. You know that I would never disobey a direct order from my Commanding Officer nor would I ever disrespect my own Father by openly disobeying you in any way. You've taught me better than that. I'm just saying that I disagree with this war and I wish you wouldn't continue this ridiculous siege on this city. Haven't we done enough damage to it and it's people?"_

_"Son, someday you will understand. Let's not talk about this anymore today. We are so close to taking the city. Please, go and get some rest. We have a long day ahead of us."_

_"Okay Father," he replies and then exits the tent._

* * *

Sigh, perhaps Lu Ten was right.

I didn't listen to him then but maybe I can listen to him now. Perhaps the Fire Nation is not actually superior to the other nations. Perhaps there are things that I could have learned from the Air Nomads that were wiped out; from the waterbenders of the Northern and Southern Water Tribes; and perhaps even from the earthbenders in the Earth Kingdom and in Ba Sing Se.

Perhaps everything I've ever known and lived for was wrong. And perhaps I was wrong in my violent intentions, thoughts, and desires.

If I had only listened to my son and stopped the siege the day he asked me to, he would still be alive.

Why didn't I listen to him?!

Although, I suppose if I did, Lu Ten and I would have both sat in front of the Tactical Review Board. And what would we say? What would we do? Could we truly have stopped this war? Perhaps if we killed my father and took the throne. But I'm sure that's not what Lu Ten had in mind. I don't know. All I know is that because of my stubbornness and my obsession with conquering Ba Sing Se, I now have nothing to live for.

My brother is the Fire Lord, my wife and child are dead, and my friends have all deserted this place.

Perhaps it's my turn to leave as well.


	4. Piandao

Early the next morning, I pack some essential items and decide to head out. I have no idea where I will go but I have to go somewhere. With Ozai as the new Fire Lord and no family, there is nothing left here for me in Capital City.

I walk down to the royal stables and pick out an eelhound for my journey.

"Where you going Uncle Iroh?" a soft and timid voice cries out from behind the bales of hay.

"Zuko? Is that you?" I ask, walking towards the voice to try and find the boy in the haystacks. "What is the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation doing hiding in the hay?"

No response.

I move the hay out of the way and find him curled up in a corner, his head in his arms.

"Zuko?" I say gently as I reach out to help him to his feet. I can tell now that he's been crying. He probably misses his mother.

"Uncle, can I come with you?" he asks, wiping the tears from his face. My heart breaks for the poor boy but there's no way I'm going to take my brother's child with me to who knows where.

"I would like that," I reply. "But it's not safe where I'm going so I think it would be best for you to stay here for now."

"Where are you going Uncle?" he asks again._  
_

"I don't know."

"But if you don't know where you're going, how do you know that it's not safe?"

"Zuko, there are a lot of things that you may not understand right now but one day you will realize that everything that's happening to you right now is happening for a reason. And, someday, you will know what that reason is." I realize my reply doesn't answer his actual question but I hope that it will help him accept some of the things that are happening in his life right now.

Naturally, he looks confused.

I'm tempted to continue to explain but I'm sure he will understand in time, so I don't. Instead, I call over a servant and have Zuko taken back to his room. Then, I mount my eelhound and head out. Where I will go and what I will find, I don't know. All I know is that I must go. Go until I find whatever it is I am looking for; until my heart is at peace. Then, perhaps, I will return.

Or perhaps not.

I head east, following the chain of Fire Nation islands that lead to the Earth Kingdom. I've been this way so many times before, usually traveling with a fleet, but this time everything's different. This time I'm alone with no heavy armor, no weapons, no strategy, no direction, no purpose.

_No purpose_, I think to myself.

Beyond the fact that there is no real purpose to my trip, I feel like there is no real purpose to my existence as a whole. I am as empty and hallow as water jug with no water; as meaningless as salt that's lost its flavor or a spear that's lost its tip. I am a prince who has lost his crown; a son who has lost his father; a husband who has lost his wife; and a father who has lost his son. I am all these things and yet I am nothing.

Lost is the only word that I actually _am_. It is the only word that accurately describes my life.

Lost.

By nightfall, I've arrived in Shu Jing, the easternmost island of the Fire Nation. I'm not in a rush to get to any particular place so I decide to stay the night. I walk over to the inn to grab some dinner and a room.

"Good Evening," the innkeeper greets me as I enter.

"I've hitched my eelhound to the post outside, is there a stable where he can stay the night?"

"Of course. And food can be provided upon request. I assume you would like a room as well?"

"Right, of course."

"Travel papers and contact information, please, sir," he says as he takes out his booking log. "We have a few options available today, I would suggest the upper suite if you are looking for some relaxation and a good view."

"A good view would be nice," I say as I hand him my papers.

He looks down at them and then looks back up at me. "Oh, General Iroh! I apologize for not recognizing you earlier. Please, let me help you with your items," he says. He looks extremely nervous as he quickly lifts the bar and comes out from behind the counter. He reaches out to help with my bag and calls for the stable boy immediately.

"There's no need inn-keeper," I reply. "Just a room and some food, please."

"Certainly." He leads me up two flights of stairs to the upper suite and then quickly opens the door and hands me the key. "There is a menu on the desk, please ring me when you're ready and we can bring the food up to your room, sir."

"Actually, I'd like to eat at the restaurant downstairs instead."

"Whatever you'd like, sir," he replies. "We will have a table set for you as you get settled."

"Please, don't go out of your way," I insist although I'm sure he's not going to listen.

"Not a problem sir. Please do not hesitate if there is anything you need," he says and then bows to me before he leaves.

I put my bag on the bed and open the window to the view he's promised. The sun has set so it is difficult to see much but, from what little light there is from the waning moon, I can see a small town, mountains, and a river. This place seems very _peaceful_ compared to home.

I go back downstairs and have dinner alone. People stare and whisper among themselves but no one talks to be besides the waitress who constantly asks if there's anything I need. Perhaps I should get some false travel papers made, especially if I plan to travel to the Earth Kingdom. For some reason, I'm pretty sure people will not be nearly as hospitable to me there. Not that I'm looking for hospitality or anything. But I'd like to be treated _normally_ (whatever that means).

After dinner, I head up to my room and lay in bed. I can't sleep so I stare out the window instead. I admire the mountains and the river as the night passes and the sun begins to rise. In the sunlight, I can see that the mountains surrounding me are lush and green, the river consists of a series of waterfalls and the homes are beautifully built with matching red roofs. On the hill, just along the cliff-side, I see a beautiful mansion.

What a peaceful place to retire.

I have breakfast at the inn, by myself again, and then walk through the town and browse the various stores filled with meaningless items for people to collect - beautifully framed artwork, calligraphy, ornate vases, everything. Everything that I would have once admired and perhaps bought. But now, they all just seem so meaningless. I walk to the local sword store where they boast the finest swords in the Fire Nation. I browse the collection, which again I would have once found very appealing, and then turn to leave.

"Could I interest you in one of our finest swords," the shopkeeper says as I reach for the door.

"No, thank you. I have no need for a sword."

"But it is made by _the master_ himself," he says, holding up a sword.

I take the sword and I examine it. I unsheathe the sword and read the markings of its maker. "Piandao," I say to myself out-loud.

"Yes, that is correct sir," he replies, impressed that I could recognize his signature on the sword. "You must certainly be an expert in good swords."

"Does he live nearby?" I ask, ignoring his comment about my knowledge or swords or whatever. I haven't seen Piandao in years.

"Yes, he lives in the mansion up the road from here. He isn't particularly social though."

"Thank you," I say as I hand the sword back to him.

"Oh, are you not interested in purchasing this fine sword?"

"No," I reply. "As I said, I have no need for a sword."

I bid the shopkeeper goodbye and then head up the road towards Piandao's home. I wonder how he will receive me; _if_ he would receive me. I knock on his door and his butler answers.

"Good day, sir."

"What do you want?" he asks somewhat, but not really, politely.

"Is Piandao here?"

"Who is asking?"

"It is an old friend - Iroh."

He goes inside for a while and then reappears. He looks around, perhaps to see if I'm alone, and then lets me in. He takes me into the mansion and to a large room, a study perhaps, and then leaves. Standing by the window, overlooking a beautiful inner-courtyard with the perfect mountain scenery behind it, is my old friend and comrade.

"Have you come to arrest me?" he asks, still facing the courtyard.

"No," I reply as I walk over and stand beside him.

He's silent for a while. "I heard the news."

"Yes."

We stand side-by-side and stare out at the scenery. "It's beautiful isn't it?" he states.

"Yes," I reply, pretending to look at it. But I am looking inside myself instead, trying to find the words to explain to my friend why I'm here.

"And you've come in search of something?"

"Yes."

"What are you looking for, old friend?"

"I'm not sure."

He does not reply. Instead, I follow him as he walks out of the study and down into the courtyard and then out to the edge of the cliff overlooking the waterfall.

"I do not know why you came here but perhaps it is for the same reasons that I've come so many years ago," he says when we reach the edge of the cliff. We sit down at the edge and hang our feet over the side. "To find peace."

"Peace," I repeat.

"You must be upset about what happened."

"Upset," I say, repeating his words again. "At which part?"

"Are you?" he asks, ignoring my question.

"Well, yes, of course I am. I'm upset that I didn't listen to my son when I should have."

"And..."

"And I'm going to kill my brother."

"Are you now?" I'm not sure where it came from but I'm suddenly angry at Ozai. How could he, after what happened to Lu Ten, kill our father and steal the throne? How is what he's done even remotely okay? Why am I, the rightful Fire Lord, not doing anything about this injustice?!

"No," I admit. For whatever reason, even though I think I should probably want to kill him, I don't.

"But you would like to I guess?"

"No."

"Then why did you say you were going to do so?" He looks confused and understandably so. I'm confused myself.

"I'm not sure," I reply.

"So what are you actually going to do then?"

"No idea."

He puts one hand on my shoulder and then looks out at the view again. "Why don't you stay a while, Iroh. It's been a long time," he insists.

"That sounds like a good idea."

I stay with Piandao for a few months, hiking the nearby mountains, painting calligraphy, playing Pai Sho, and talking with my old friend. We talk about everything - philosophy, the Fire Nation, the war, my son, his life here in Shu Jing. Everything except what I'm going to do next.

After some time, I decide that I should move on. He helps to get me some false travel papers and I thank him before I pack my things.

"Whatever you do, wherever you go, I'd try and watch what I say to people," he says as he bids me goodbye.

"Right, of course," I reply. "I probably shouldn't go around telling people I want to kill the Fire Lord."

We laugh.

"Not unless you actually plan on going ahead with it. In that case, you know where to find me," he jokes (although I'm sure there's some truth in it). "Also, think about what I said about the White Lotus," he adds.

"I will. Thank you, my friend."

"No, thank _you_. It is always nice to see an old friend."

"Always," I reply.

I walk back down to the inn where my eelhound is being kept in the stable, pay the inn-keeper, and then head off toward the Earth Kingdom. I feel better than when I arrived but still I know there is more to do, more to find, out _there._ Wherever 'there' is.


	5. Jeong Jeong

I cross the Yellow Sea and stop in a small trading village in one of the disputed Fire Nation colonies. The village is on the river so there is a marina with a few shops surrounding it. I browse the shops for a bit and then go to the butcher shop for lunch.

"Welcome, sir, we have some of the best meats in both the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. What you like today?" the butcher greets me as I enter the shop.

"What's your specialty?" I ask.

"Well, fish of course. We have both fresh water fish and salt water fish. I like the salt water fish better myself. Could I suggest some sandbass perhaps?"

"No. I'm in the mood for something meatier."

"How about some roasted duck-pig," he suggests.

"Roasted duck-pig? What's that?"

"It's an Earth Kingdom specialty. Here, try some," he says as he cuts off a small piece for me to try.

It's good! "Now that's what I'm looking for. I'll have a lunch portion of the duck-pig and some hot sauce please."

He hands me a plate of food and I sit by the window overlooking the marina. In the distance, about five nautical miles offshore, I can see three or four Fire Nation destroyers.

"They're scary looking, huh?" a man says as he takes a seat next to me.

"Oh, yes," I reply though, considering I'm usually on the vessel as opposed to looking at it from shore, they don't seem all too scary to me.

"Like many of us, I've unfortunately been a victim of one too many of their attacks."

"Is that so?" I've never spoken to someone on the receiving end of one of my attacks before so perhaps this conversation will be enlightening.

"Yeah. I remember the first time as if it were yesterday. I used to live in a fishing village north of here. And when _they_ came, they burned down the entire village."

"Oh. When was this?"

"About two years ago."

"Just north of here?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Oh," I reply. Two years ago, _I _burned down quite a few fishing towns just north of here. Could it have been me who did this?

"Do you of Makapu?" he asks.

"I'm not sure." I've burned down so many villages that I can't keep track of their names.

"Where are you from?"

"Oh, I've been traveling around," I reply, avoiding his question. "Is Makapu your home?"

"Yes. It was burned down as well," he replies. "Along with my entire family."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too. We all have loved ones we've lost."

"Yes. I've lost my family as well. But it was my fault," I admit.

"Man," he says but then pauses for a moment. "I think it's natural to feel that way. But there was nothing you could have done."

"But what if there was?"

He places one hand on my shoulder and then looks me in the eye. "You have to let it go friend."

I look at him for a moment but then quickly look away, directing my gaze out the window again instead. The loss of his family was probably directly my fault as well and I'm sure he would agree if he knew the truth about me.

"I'm sorry," I apologize again. I'm sorry for killing your family as well as my own, I add to myself.

"You don't-" he starts but then looks out the window as if inspecting something. "Black snow," he says cautiously.

"Black snow?"

"You've never been in an attack before?" he asks, looking at me suspiciously. "We should get downstairs."

"Downstairs?"

He grabs my arm and leads me down into a bunker.

"What are we doing down here and what is black snow?" I ask after he locks the door of the bunker. I can see now that quite a few others are down here. I think about lighting a fire so that I can see better but then decide that it's probably best not to.

"Shhh," the butcher says. "Be quiet or they may find us here."

"What are you talking about?"

"The black snow," the man says.

"Black snow?"

"Yes. Before each attack there is black snow."

"So you're suggesting that the town is under attack?" I ask.

"Yes."

"And what do you plan to do? Sit down here and wait it out?"

"We have no other choice," the butcher says.

"We could fight!" I suggest.

"Fight? Are you crazy?! They'll burn us alive." Okay, he makes a good point.

"What do you think they want?" I ask out of curiosity although I know what _they _want of course - to spread the glory of the Fire Nation to the world.

"They want to take our town like they've taken the rest of our towns of course," the man replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"They want to burn everything we have and take our land for themselves. They are ruthless and evil men," the butcher adds.

"Ruthless and evil? But aren't the colonies doing well?"

"The Earth Kingdom citizens in the colonies are all subject to their Fire Nation governors. They are second class citizens in their own homes!" the man explains.

"You seem to be really out of the loop. Where are you from anyways?" the butcher asks. "Omashu?"

"Oh, um, I'm from Ba Sing Se," I lie.

"Oh, Ba Sing Se. Why did you leave Ba Sing Se? It's safe there."

"I don't know. I'm just traveling," I reply. "Doing some soul searching, you know."

"It's a dangerous time to be soul searching," the man says.

A bang on the door interrupts our conversation.

"I know you're in there!" a man screams from the other side of the door.

The banging continues.

"Oh no, they found us!"

"What will they do?"

"Well one of two things. We will either be sent to prison or we will be made to serve them when they are done burning down this town. Either way the options are not very appealing," the butcher explains. I guess that's pretty accurate. Generally, we send the benders tot he jails and everyone else gets to stay.

"Is there a way out of here?" the man asks.

The door busts open and three soldiers step into the room. The butcher earthbends some tables at them and they firebend them into ashes.

_Nice job men_, I think to myself out of habit.

A few of the other men join the fight as I stand aside. After a while, the commanding officer takes out his sword and grabs the butcher. He pushes him onto the floor and then swings the blade to behead him.

"No!" I cry out before he is able to make contact.

They all freeze and look at me.

"What do you want old man?" the commander says to me. "You'd rather be first?"

"Stand down commander," I reply sternly. "That's an order."

He laughs.

"And who do you think you are to order me around?"

I grab his wrist and disarm him.

He firebends at me and I deflect with fire.

"Who are you?!" the commander demands when he sees that I am a firebender.

"If I were you, I'd stand down."

He continues to firebend at me and the other two join.

"Run," I say to the butcher and his customers.

Quickly, they scramble out the back door of the bunker.

"Now stand down, commander," I say after they are gone. "I am General Iroh."

"General Iroh!" he replies and then bows to me. "I'm sorry sir. I didn't know it was you."

"It would be better for you if you turn around and leave this town now. You've ruined my lunch!"

"It's too late, sir. The town is taken."

We go back upstairs and find the town in flames. Normally I'd tell the commander that he's done a very good job and congratulate him on his success. But, this time, I'm devastated. I walk over to where I left my plate of duck-pig and pick up the thigh that I have left. Good thing this wasn't burnt up in the flames, just a bit charred.

I exit the shop and walk past the inn that looked so promising before. I guess I will have to find a different place to sleep tonight. I walk over to the dock where I left my eelhound and find that it has been slain. Why would they kill a perfectly healthy eelhound?!

Oh well. I guess I have to continue my journey on foot instead.

"General Iroh, do you want us to take you back to Capital City?" the commander asks when he sees me standing next to the eelhound.

"No thank you, commander. I'm not headed in that direction."

"Okay, sir," he says and then gets back on the vessel. "I'm sorry about your lunch."

I walk through the burnt town and out the main road that leads into the woods. I guess walking isn't so bad since I'm not really in a rush to go anywhere anyways. I wander aimlessly through the woods for a while until I find a small clearing by a river. I make camp and sleep out on the grass for the night.

The next morning, I go down to the river to wash up.

"The trading village has been burnt up, sir," I hear a man say as I put some fresh clothes on.

"Burnt up? They are really advancing inland," a familiar voice replies.

I walk over to try and get a look at the familiar voice. From a distance they look like two ordinary Earth Kingdom citizens.

"Who's there?" one of the men says. He probably heard me rustling around in the bushes.

"It is just me," I say cautiously, stepping out of the bushes to show myself.

"Oh, it's just an old man."

"Yes. I've come from the trading village yesterday."

"Did you sleep out here by the river?" the familiar man asks.

"Yes."

"You must be very tired," he observes.

"I've been through worse."

"You should come and get some rest," the man insists.

I agree and then follow them to their camp. They set up a tent for me and I join them for breakfast.

"What are you all doing out here?" I ask as I eat my breakfast.

"We are here with The Deserter," the familiar man replies.

"The Deserter?"

"Yes. The first man to desert the Fire Nation Navy," he replies.

"Jeong Jeong?

"Yes! Everyone knows The Deserter. He's a living legend and-" he continues but is interrupted by The Deserter himself.

"Iroh?" Jeong Jeong says when he sees me.

"Jeong Jeong!" I get up and hug my old friend.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story." We take a walk by the river and I explain to him everything that's happened to me since he left the Fire Nation almost five years ago.

"I see you've made it out alive and have quite a following now!" I say after I'm done telling him about my worthless life.

"I have," he replies.

"And your family, are they here with you as well?"

"They didn't make it," he says, staring into the river.

We are silent. I can't believe his wife and daughter are gone. He must be _devastated_. And I suppose I know how he feels but I at least had Lu Ten for twenty-eight years. Sunny was just seven... (_Author's Note: Jeong Jeong's story overlaps with my other story - Sunshine (A Zuko Love Story) - which tells the tale of his lost daughter, Sunny)_

"I'm sorry, my friend."

"I knew it would be dangerous to desert the Navy with my family but I never imagined that I'd lose them in the process."

"Do you regret it?" I ask out of curiosity.

"There's no point in regretting it. What's done is done. Regret isn't going to bring my family back," he replies. "It's been over five years since their death. And for the first few years I hated myself. I blamed myself for their deaths. I sent them to their doom, I thought to myself. And I really believed that I did."

"And now?"

"Now, I've come to accept the fact that I cannot change what happened in the past. The only thing I can do now is to choose how I will live in the present," he says.

"How you live in the present," I repeat.

"Yes. Each day, I choose to flee from violence and destruction, something that was such a big part of my life up until the point when I left the Fire Nation, in hopes that my actions today will lead to a more peaceful tomorrow."

"And do you think they will?"

"I have hope that they will," he replies. He tosses a stone into the river and then stares at the water as the ripples expand toward the shore. "Chey says that my daughter may still be alive."

"Sunny?"

"Yes. He says that he saw her that day and that he placed her in a boat, headed north. I guess that's the best he could have done for her considering the circumstances of that day."

"Then there is hope that she's still alive!"

"Yes. And that hope keeps me going everyday."

"We'll find her, old friend."

"When this war is over, I plan to go back to Ba Sing Se and start my search again," he says.

"I'll go with you," I promise. "I think Lu Ten would have wanted that."

"That would be nice. It's too bad Tai Yuan never got to meet Sunny."

"Yeah, or Lu Ten," I add. "We have some pretty sad lives, huh?"

He laughs. "Lives riddles with war are never happy. But at least we have hope."

"You have hope. I'm not sure I can say the same for myself."

"Iroh, why don't you stay a while," he suggests. "I think perhaps you can find hope. I know that I'm lucky that there is a possibility that my daughter is alive. But even before I found out from Chey, I knew that I had to continue to live despite the loss of my family. I knew that I had to come to terms with it and to forgive myself for what I did."

"But how do you forgive yourself from something so..." I don't have the word to describe the severity of the deed that I did.

"So unforgivable," he says, completing my thought. "The key is to realize that hating yourself does not help you or them. Imagine that they are here today, guiding you. Meditate on that. What would they want you to do?"

I think about it for a moment but I have no idea.

"I don't know, Jeong Jeong. But I think they'd want to hang out with you here. Lu Ten would have liked to fish in the river and Tai Yuan would enjoy swimming."

"Great, that's a start. Stay," he suggests.

I agree and spend the next two months with Jeong Jeong. For the sake of my family, I do some fishing, eating, and swimming.

But, mostly, I meditate.


	6. Iroh

"Where will you go next Iroh?" Jeong Jeong asks as I pack my bag to head out.

"I'm not sure. Perhaps I will go home for a while."

"Home?"

"Yes. I think my time here has been useful and, with your help, I've begun to accept what had happened to my family."

"Acceptance is a long process," he states. He pauses for a moment and hesitates before he continues, "Are you sure going home will help?"

_No_, I think to myself. But I'm not quite sure where else I'd go. Ba Sing Se perhaps?

No.

I think it's time for me to go back and face my issues rather than continue this journey to nowhere. I have already spent nearly half a year traveling.

"I don't know Jeong Jeong. But I think it's time for me to _do_ something about my problems rather than run from them. Perhaps I can talk my brother into... I'm not sure what I'd talk him into but maybe I can reason with him."

"Talk him into ending this war," Jeong Jeong jokingly suggests. He keeps a straight face for all of ten seconds before we both burst out laughing.

"I'm thinking something more realistic," I reply when I am finally able to catch my breath.

"Right." His somber response reminds us both of the person that my brother is; my father's son.

And me? Who am I? Am I not my father's son as well? Certainly I am but how is it that I am so different from Ozai? I think about it for a while and then realize that, a little more than six months ago, I was probably not so different from him. Perhaps we are generally not all that different at all. Perhaps there is good inside of him as there is inside of me.

Or perhaps everything that's happened to him regarding Ursa and Zuko has turned him into the bitter, angry, emotionless person that he is today. I wonder why he even told me about it? He's been keeping this secret to himself for so many years. Why tell me now? Maybe he just needed to tell _somebody_.

I think about the promise that I made to Ursa before she left, my promise to take care of Zuko.

_But why should I be responsible for someone else's child?_ I think for a moment to myself. Guilt overwhelms me the second I think the thought. If he were my son and I could not be there for him, wouldn't I want someone to look after him? Ozai certainly isn't looking after him. And, with Ursa gone, he doesn't have anyone left to defend or teach him and, if he is going to be Fire Lord one day, he will need some (or, more accurately, _a lot_ of) guidance._  
_

"There's something I need to do," I admit after a while.

He looks over at me and, understanding that I do not intend to talk about what this something is, he nods. "Go then, my friend. And do not hesitate to call on me if there's ever anything you need."

"Thank you, I will." I embrace him and then head out to the nearest village about fifteen kilometers away.

I arrive in Senlin Village, a Fire Nation colony and port, late that afternoon and arrange for my transport back to Capital City. The next ship headed directly to the city is scheduled to go out in a few hours. It is a patrol ship so it should be a smooth and relatively short ride from here.

With some time to spare, I go to the butchery and order some duck-pig for a late lunch. I eat and then browse the local shops.

On the surface, this colony seems to be doing well. Ships loaded with cargo come and go busily in and out of the port, kids play in the streets, restaurants are filled with customers, and tourists browse the shops without a care in the world. But, if I look from the perspective of an Earth Kingdom citizen, it is clear that what the butcher and his customers from the fishing village told me is true; the Earth Kingdom citizens that had once called this village home are now subject to the Fire Nation officials who have overrun the town.

But isn't that simply a part of war - the conqueror versus the conquered?

I don't know. I don't even know why I'm thinking about these things. I guess it's because it's the first time in my life that I have questioned the war my father had started so many years ago. I was taught, and believed, all my life that we fight this war because firebenders are superior to the other nations. So, with that logic, it only made sense that the former citizens of the conquered villages should be subject to us.

But, the more time I spend outside of the Fire Nation, the more I'm starting to think otherwise.

It's interesting how different I see our 'enemies' after traveling to their land and interacting with their people. I wonder if visiting the Air Nomads before they were wiped out would have been equally as enriching? Maybe I should travel north and spend some time with the waterbenders in the North Pole. I wonder what it is like up there?

"General Iroh?" a man's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Yes."

"We are ready to go."

_Go where_? I think to myself for a second but then I remember that I've arranged my travel back to Capital City. "Right. Sorry, I lost track of time."

"That's alright. Right this way, sir." He leads me to the pier and into the Officer's Quarters of the ship. "You can have this room."

"Thank you, Captain," I say, reading the rank off his uniform.

"It is an honor to have you aboard," he respectfully replies. "Dinner will be served in my dining room in about an hour. Officer Chang here will be around if you need anything between now and then."

I nod and then set my bag on the table.

One hour on a patrol ship with nothing for me to do. Now_ that's_ a first.

I lay down on the bed stare up at the ceiling. It's weird to not have anything to do, anywhere to go, or anyone to talk to. Perhaps a nap would help me kill some time. I close my eyes and try to get some rest but I'm not tired so I get up and go upstairs to the main deck instead.

"Is there anything I can help you with, General?" Officer Chang asks as soon as we get on deck. I guess he followed me up here.

I lean against the railing and stare out at the passing land.

"No. I'm just enjoying the view," I reply. "It's weird to be on a destroyer and not have anything to do."

He laughs. "I suppose it is." He stands next to me for a while before he continues, "I can leave you alone if you'd like."

"No, that's really okay, Officer. I'm sure you were assigned to look after me."

"I was."

"Then I would hate to put you in a difficult position by sending you away. Please, stay."

"That's very kind of you, sir."

_Kind_. Rarely, if ever, have any of my subordinates used that word to describe me. Kind... I mull it over for a while. Such a simple word but, said at a moment like this, it signifies a lot. Perhaps the past few months have changed me more than I could ever have imagined. Perhaps I am no longer the man that I used to be.

And... I think I like it.

I smile at him and then ask him where he is from. We talk for a while about his family, his brothers, his wife, his children, and his home. After some time, the dinner bell rings and he escorts me to the Captain's dining room before we part ways.

After dinner, I head back to my quarters, wash up, and get into bed; quickly falling into deep sleep.

A few hours later, in the dead of night, the ship begins to rock violently. _A storm_, I think to myself. It's nothing. I've been through a hundred storms before; I'm sure it will pass. I turn over on my bed when I hear a loud tearing noise. The ship shakes tremendously.

We must have hit something hard. And, if the tearing noise is what I think it is, this ship may not last very long. I run topside and am instantly drenched by the heavy rain. Strong winds make it difficult to walk but I push through them toward the Captain.

"General Iroh, are you okay?" I hear the Captain scream when he sees me approaching. He runs toward me and grabs my forearm to steady me.

"What was that tearing noise?"

"We hit something on the starboard side of the ship. She is not looking good General." He signals toward the lifeboats. "For your safety, I'd suggest-" he starts but is cut off by a wave crashing down on deck. We slide into the mainmast and the Captain is knocked unconscious. Clearly, the ship and her Captain are not looking good.

Quickly, I pickup the Captain, throw him over my shoulder, and head toward the lifeboat. I run as fast as I can and then leap with all my strength into the lifeboat. Two crew members join us in the boat and cut the ropes attaching it to the ship. We fall straight down into the water and a large wave pushes us away from the ship. I look back a few seconds later and watch as she goes under.

Just my luck, the one ship I get on to go home sinks.

For the next hour or so, the storm continues to rage on at full force. We circle the area in search for survivors and pick up four additional men. After what feels like forever, the storm passes and the sea calms.

And, just as the darkness of night gives way to the rising sun, my body gives way to the sweet release of sleep.


	7. The Dragon of the West

**Hello,**

**FYI, I made some minor changes to the previous chapters (nothing big, just added some more of Iroh's thoughts to certain parts and fixed some errors and awkward sentences).**

**Also, I'm looking for a beta reader. Please PM me if you can help out.**

**Thanks for reading~!**

* * *

I wake up a few hours later in a small lifeboat, sweating. Six or seven exhausted, and likely dehydrated, men share the boat on which I have somehow found myself.

Where am I?

With no where to go and no shade for relief, the afternoon sun is insufferable. I look around for some fresh drinking water but there is none to be found.

What happened last night? Who are these men and how did I end up on a lifeboat with them in the middle of the ocean?

Yesterday, I had breakfast with Jeong Jeong, walked to Senlin Village, ate duck-pig, and then... right, I got on a Fire Nation destroyer headed to Capital City. Well this certainly isn't Capital City. Well, not unless the city was somehow submerged underwater overnight, which I'm pretty sure did not happen.

Although, if it did, that would sort of take care of the war and such I suppose. But that would also mean that everything that I had once known would have been completely wiped out. The thought scares me at first but the more I think about it the more appealing it becomes. It actually wouldn't be _so_ bad if everything that I had once known had been wiped out. And, in a sort of psychological and perhaps spiritual way, it _has_.

In the course of the last year, my life as I had known it was _completely _wiped out. I had lost everything and, like my imaginary city submerged underwater, I had drowned.

Yet, as it stood, I seem to have resurfaced on this mysterious lifeboat with these mysterious men.

Who are these men?

"There seems to be land up ahead," one of the men observes.

"Land?" Hope of fresh drinking water lifts me to my feet. I follow his gaze and see what appears to be a small island. Well, it's not Capital City but I suppose a small island is better than no island at all.

We paddle the boat toward the island and catch the current going inland. As we approach, two of the men jump out of the boat and pull the rest of us to shore. We are greeted by a pristine beach surrounded by what looks like a jungle. Now this isn't so bad. We pull the lifeboat onto the beach and quickly find shade in the trees.

"We should make camp and find water," I say to the men.

They agree and we quickly split up into three groups. The first group starts down the beach toward the cliffs to scout the area, the second stays behind to set up a camp, and the Captain and I form the third group and head into the jungle to find water.

There _has _to be water somewhere on this island.

We navigate through the jungle to what looks like an entrance to an ancient city. There is a large gate guarded by two angry stone warriors, one on each side. Ivy covers the statues and the gate, as if forbidding anyone to pass.

"An ancient city," the Captain says softly, as if afraid that the statues could somehow hear him. He walks toward the gate and cautiously peers through the spaces between the vines. "Should we go in?"

"I don't know." I look up at the two angry statues. I don't like the idea of disturbing an ancient city. And, "I would hate to disturb whatever angry spirits may be guarding this place."_  
_

"Of course," he replies, a bit disappointed. He hesitates a moment but then adds, "But there could be water in there."

He looks over at me and waits for me to reply.

I don't know.

"General Iroh," he says after some time. "It is up to you. If you feel that it is best to not enter, we can go around."

I think about it for a while. "I agree, an ancient city with a gate as elaborate as this one would likely have some sort of water, a well or a spring perhaps. But, if this is true, there are probably other sources of fresh water nearby as well."

"You're right. But how long would it take us to find it? It could be a few hours or, if we are as unlucky as we were last night, it could take days. The men could dehydrate to death before we find the source."

Dehydrate or not, I don't think disturbing an ancient city guarded by angry spirits is a good idea. "Captain, we will find it. Let's go around," I insist. Dehydration may be a risk that we have to take.

"Okay," he relents.

We continue on for an hour or so before we find another entrance. This time, it is more inviting. A narrow pathway leads into what looks like a valley of temples.

Temples? I take a closer look at the inscriptions on the walls. Ancient drawings of firebenders and dragons cover the walls.

"The nine dragons," I observe, counting the dragons carved along the narrow pathway. "This must be the Ancient Sun Warrior's City."

"The Ancient Sun Warrior's City? You mean, the original benders lived here?" His eyes light up as he stares into the valley. "We should go in."

"I don't know," I reply.

"What could it hurt?" He walks ahead of me into the pathway.

Carefully, I follow behind him.

As he passes the first dragon, fire shoots out from it's mouth. Instinctively, I firebend to deflect it, preventing the fire from burning him alive. He looks back at me and smiles. "Thanks."

"We should turn back," I insist. Who knows what else is going to shoot out at us here!

"Turn back to where?" a voice asks from above the wall.

Startled, I look up. A spirit?

A man in little to no clothing stands above us, a spear in his hand. At the sight of the man, the Captain begins to run past me, out of the pathway back toward the beach, but, before he can even get past me, a net shoots down from above and traps him.

"What are you doing here?" the man above us asks.

"We were shipwrecked and stranded here. We have gone almost a whole day in the heat of the sun with no water. We are here hoping to find water."

"Water? Is that what you call it nowadays?" His eyes narrow as he stares down at me suspiciously. Clearly, he doesn't believe me. After a few moments, he laughs. Suddenly, two other clothing-less men appear behind me and tie me up. I think about fighting them off but then decide that it is probably best for me not to start a fight. There's no telling how many more of these men there are.

Plus, they probably have water, which they _may_ give us as prisoners.

They take us up to a cave and give us water, untying us so we can drink.

"Thank you," I say as I receive the water. "Who are you anyways?"

"Who do you think we are?" he asks.

"The Sun Warriors."

He smiles.

"But it can't be true..."

"Yes, I know, we are all dead."

"So you are spirits?" I ask, confused. They certainly don't look like spirits.

He laughs. "No."

"So you are not all dead," the Captain states.

"Clearly."

"Well, if you are _the_ Sun Warriors and you are, as you say, clearly not dead then you could teach us to firebend!" the Captain continues. His eyes light up as he rises to his feet.

"As your friend has clearly demonstrated earlier, you already know how to firebend."

"Yes, but to be taught by the masters themselves!" He gets excited and begins to demonstrate some forms. "I'd be the best firebender in the world!"

They laugh. "_You?_"

He looks offended.

"Well, I suppose it _would_ be enriching to learn from the masters themselves," I note, humbly. "That is, if you would teach us."

"That is not for me to decide," he states. "Come." He leads us to the side of a cliff where a fire burns. "Before the masters teach you, you must first pass their judgement."

"Pass their judgement?"

"Yes. You must take this fire and bring it to the masters. If they accept you, then you may learn from them." He signals for us to proceed.

The Captain and I reach into the fire and take a small flame into our hands. Then, we follow the Sun Warrior to the longest flight of steps I have ever seen.

"You first," the Captain says, pushing me ahead of him.

Slowly, I make my way up the stairs to the top. I look to my right and then to my left. On either side, I see what looks like an entrance to some sort of cave, a single path connects the two entrances. I suppose the masters will come out of one or perhaps both of these entrances. I stand in the center and bow to my left and then to my right, holding my flame out for them to receive.

Suddenly, wind blows from both sides. I lessen my flame and protect it with my hands. But, as the wind intensifies, it goes out. Two dragons emerge from the entrances and surround me. I turn to my left and then to my right as a pillar of fire engulfs me.

It is beautiful.

In it I see both everything and nothing; both the world and myself; both good and evil; both light and dark.

In it I see both life and death.

_Death_, I think to myself. In death, there is new life. In death, there is rebirth. In death, there is resurrection. Without one there could never be the other.

Life itself begins with death.

And, as I stand before the masters themselves, my mind clears and my soul finds peace. It seems, with the death of my son, my life had begun anew. Everything I once knew, everything I once was, is gone and I stand now before the masters, _my masters,_ renewed.

Who am I?

Six months ago, I was nothing and no one. But now? Now, with the loss of everything I had once had and was, I seem to have been _found._

I am Iroh.

I am a father with no son, a husband with no wife, a General with no army, a King with no nation. I am nothing and yet I am everything.

I am lost and yet I am found.

I am Iroh.

Iroh, _The Dragon of the West_.


	8. Zuko

**You knew it was coming (or maybe not but either way, here it is) - Zuko and Iroh, two of my favorite characters. :) Had to re-watch some of the early episodes to get a sense of their relationship prior to Zuko's transformation.**

**I hope you like it~!**

* * *

The Sun Warriors give me some fresh drinking water for my men before I head back to the beach.

"Thank you," I say to the Chief as I bid them goodbye.

It seems this shipwreck and this island has revealed more about myself than I could ever have imagined.

Before my journey, I thought my life was hopeless and meaningless because I had lost both my family and my work, the two things by which most lives are defined. But now I realize that life is more than what we do for a living and who we love. There is no denying that these are important parts of each of our lives and our responsibilities to them are important. But we also have a responsibility to ourselves and a responsibility to the world that goes beyond work and family.

To ourselves, we have the responsibility for our thoughts, actions, and emotions. And I realize now that happiness is a choice that transcends circumstances. Yes, of course, circumstances can affect our mood and it is only natural to feel sad and angry when situations call for such emotions, but we have a choice as to whether or not we will allow those emotions and feelings to control us and to drive our thoughts and actions.

There is, as Jeong Jeong said, nothing I can do to undo the mistakes of my past that had led to the death of my son and the loss of the throne but I _can_ choose how I allow these things to affect me. I can choose to either continue living my life as I was, allowing my pain and anger to fuel my fire, or I can choose to change and to live in a positive manner, whatever that means.

And now, after everything I've seen and experienced in the past few months, I have made my choice. I choose change; I choose _good_. And even though the uncertainty of change is unnerving, the peace that it provides is well worth it.

"General Iroh!" the Captain calls out to me when he sees me approaching. "You made it!" He looks shocked.

"Yes, I did," I reply.

"And the dragons? I assume, since you are alive, that you have slayed the dragons?"

"Indeed," I lie.

"You slayed the dragons?!" one of the crew members asks, astonished.

"Yes."

"Dragon_s?_" another man asks to clarify. "You mean to say there were more than one?"

"Yes, there were two."

"The last two dragons in the world!" the Captain adds.

"That's amazing!"

"How did you do it?"

"How does it feel?"

"How did they look?"

"What color were they?"

"How big were they?"

The men all ask at the same time. I relay a made up version of the events that transpired. And they eat up every word in amazement.

"You truly are the Dragon of the West," the Captain says referring to a nickname that I had been given because of a firebending form that I do, spitting fire out of my mouth.

I laugh. "Thanks Captain but what happened to you? I thought you were right behind me."

"Oh..." he pauses. "Well, when I saw the dragons, I ran to get help," he lies.

I smile. The Sun Warriors had already told me that the Captain ran toward the beach screaming for his life. "Right. Well, I'm glad you are alright."

"Yeah."

I give the water the Sun Warrior's provided to the men and we sit down by a campfire for dinner. The group that had gone out to scout the island had returned with some wild boar-monkeys and had roasted them up for everyone to eat.

The next day, a rescue ship comes and transports us home, to Capital City. Within a matter of hours, the whole city hears of my encounter with the dragons. Six months ago, I left home a defeated prince and now I have returned as the man who 'killed' the last dragons on earth, the Dragon of the West, which, from a pre-journey point of view, is quite an achievement.

But I know I have gained much more than the 'glory' of slaying the dragons. I know that I have not only been healed of my ridiculous obsession with conquering the world but that I have found peace, something that I had not had my entire life. Peace to live my life free from any and all societal constraints; peace to live free from the responsibilities of the Fire Lord; peace to live free from the burden of a war.

I return to my quarters and sit, again, at my desk. This time, I look at the two photos on my desk and smile. "Thank you," I say to them, my two angels. "Thank you for teaching me and guiding me. Thank you for standing by my side when you were alive, no matter how much you disagreed with me. And thank you for never leaving me now that you are both gone. Through my memories and the lessons that you have both taught me, you will live on. I will never forget. And now, now that I am a new man, I will wear the scars of my past proudly as a reminder of who I was and your love that was, in your death, able to transform me into who I am today."

I sit a while longer and reminisce about all the good times that we had shared together. I tell them about Piandao and Jeong Jeong, about the Earth Kingdom and the roasted duck-pig, and about my plans to continue to travel the world. In fact, I think I make take up Piandao's offer to join the Order of the White Lotus. I think it is time that I give back to the world after taking from it for so long.

But first, Zuko.

I walk over to Zuko's room to see if he is around. He's not.

"You came back," my brother says as I turn to leave.

"Brother, of course. This is my home."

"And you've come to see the boy?" he asks. He seems a bit annoyed about Zuko or perhaps he is just annoyed about my sudden affinity toward the boy.

"I made a promise."

"A promise?" He seems interested.

"Look, Ozai, I know Zuko is not your son but still he is still someone's son and he is here. Because of your circumstances, I don't expect that you could care for him more than you already have and, to be honest, I'm glad you have shown him as much kindness as you have. But still someone should _care_ for him."

"Kindness? I assure you, brother, I do not care to be kind to the boy."

"I know and yet you have been by keeping him here for so long."

"He is only here to save face. I don't think the nation needs to know of my private affairs and harming the boy for no reason would be suspicious."

"Agreed."

"So what is this promise that you made, Iroh?"

"Only that I would look out for the boy," I reply. "I hope that is okay with you."

"I don't care what you do with him. Just stay out of my way."

"Of course, Fire Lord."

He pauses for a moment and then informs me, "He's down by the pond."

I walk down to the pond and find the boy sitting beside it, alone, feeding turtle-ducks. Naturally, with boys his age, he has grown a lot in the past few months that I've been gone. Yet, his sadness remains. Sigh, he must really miss his mother. And I'm sure Azula and her friends are no help either. They have always been so mean to the poor boy.

I sit down beside him and smile.

"Hi Uncle," he says after some time. "So I see you returned."

"I have."

"And was your journey dangerous?" he asks, referring to the last conversation we had in the royal stables. I'm a bit surprised he remembers. Funny how children always remember the most inconvenient things.

"It was."

He looks up at me and smiles. "So I heard. Dragons, huh?"

"Yup, the last of them."

"How were they like?" he asks.

"Magnificent."

We sit in silence for a while. I wish I could tell him the truth but I know I can't.

"So, how are things around here? Must be really different now that you're Crown Prince," I say to change the subject.

"Yeah," he replies. He looks down at the crumbs in his hands before tossing them all into the water. The turtle-ducks go crazy.

Worry and disappointment cover his face. "Why the long face?"

"Well, if I'm going to be Fire Lord one day, people will expect that I can firebend."

I laugh. "But you _can_ firebend."

"Not well. Azula says that if I can't firebend better than her, Father will make her Fire Lord instead."

"Now that's ridiculous," I say although I have a feeling, when that time comes, Ozai will probably do whatever he can to make Azula Fire Lord instead of Zuko. "There's more to being Fire Lord than firebending, Zuko."

"I don't know. I just wish I was born better. Azula says I'm so bad that I was probably adopted."

"Zuko, I can assure you that is not true."

He looks down at his hands as if there is something wrong with them. Then, frustrated, he gets up and burns the trees behind us. One catches fire. Quickly, I put it out.

"Zuko, if you want to be a good firebender, you must learn to control your temper."

He looks over at me, angry. "What do you know!" he cries. "You were probably born good!" He pauses for a moment and then softly adds, "Unlike me."

My heart breaks for the boy. For him to think that he was _born_ wrong, I cannot imagine how horrible that feels. No child or person should _ever_ have to feel that way. No, if he were my son, I would not allow him to even think it!

I think about having a talk with Ozai and perhaps Azula but then decide against it. It would be fruitless for me to talk to Ozai about being nicer to Zuko and out-of-line for me to discipline my brother's daughter. I cannot control how other people treat this boy but I can choose how I treat him.

"Nephew," I say to him "You were not born wrong. You should not think that of yourself. Each one of us is born _different_ and what you lack in natural talent, you make up for in determination. I am positive that, in time, your bending could surpass Azula's."

He looks up at me with hope in his eyes. "Do you really think so, Uncle?" he asks.

I don't know! Whether one man is better than the other is inconsequential but if it will give him hope then, "Yes, of course."

He's silent for a while as if mulling it over. "Hey Uncle?"

"Yes?"

"Would you train me? I mean, maybe if _The Dragon of the West_ trains me, I could be good, like you!"

I smile. "Of course. It's not like I have anything better to do now that I'm 'retired.'"

"Retired?" He looks at me, confused. "Don't you want to go back out there and continue to fight for our nation!"

"Not really," I admit. "I think I would actually like to spend some time here instead, with you." I smile, hoping to convey my acceptance of his existence.

"Yeah right, Uncle. No one wants to spend time with me."

"I do," I insist.

"Thanks but that's only because you don't have anyone else to spend time with." Children can be overly harsh at times. And, in some ways, he might be right. If Lu Ten and Tai Yuan were still alive, I probably wouldn't want to spend time with him.

But then again, if they were still alive, everything would be different. If Lu Ten were still alive, I would be the Crown Prince, not Zuko.

I smile at the irony of that truth.

"There is a reason for everything," I say. "And sometimes what we perceive as 'good for us' is not what we or the world actually needs."

He looks at me, confused. "Um... what are you talking about Uncle?"

"Nothing, just thinking out loud." I hope he will understand in time. "Now let's get you trained."


End file.
